February 9/10, 2012
So I was having this momentary phase last night that I feel sooo depress and confuse. I just wanted to talk to someone. Well, I guess writing about the past might have done this. It made me thought of some unanswered questions and basically made me thought of the person himself. The good times, the bad and the moments in between. The start of our friendship, falling in love, getting into and ending the relationship. I was thinking of it nonstop! They said lingering back to the past would make us feel bad, but it didn’t. Heck, it even made me laugh and giggle at times. I didn’t know what was it all about. Then I started questioning myself (after almost 4 years I haven’t asked myself this) if I was still in love with him? Thinking about it now, I think I haven’t stopped loving him. It just changed!
So, I kind of done a silly thing. Let’s just say, I “drunk chatted” (but I wasn’t drunk and I’m quite aware with what I’m doing but I don’t know why I’m doing it?) my ex boyfriend last night, and I told him things that I think I shouldn’t have told him. But yea, it was good though because it made everything far more clearer now. I cried a little, made a deep brief sigh and I’m fine again! I guess, my friend was right. I had moved on but I haven’t let him go. Well, not until last night!
It was good. A bit awkward at the end but it was good. And after 4 years of figuring things out, I can now truly say that I’m okay.
Getting on the Friend Zone
A couple of months had already gone. I now know his name (Ted) and he knows mine. We already talked, but probably once or twice. At this moment, he was already teasing me to his best friend, one of the musketeers, Rey. Ted, of all people, was the person who connects me and Rey. He is our “bridge”, I guess. He would be the one teasing me from the moment I got and left from school. Ted and I had gotten quite close because of Rey. Rey is this skinny, pale and tall guy with chinky eyes. I actually like Rey. I have a crush on him but he’s sheepish or “torpe”. The whole class knows about me and Rey. I guess I can say that Rey did loved me. He would drew and send me letters. He calls me “sleeping beauty” because I sleep a lot! But the only problem about Rey is he never actually say that he loves me. He’s the type of guy who is sweet on letters/text but doesn’t have the courage to say it upfront.
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(Source: jsevilla)
Sometimes I wonder what happen between us? What went wrong? And how we manage to end up like this? Two strangers. It’s quite sad how two people who use to be all over each other, and in love, doesn’t even glance at each other now.
I wonder, between the two of us, who fall in and out of love first?
(Source: jsevilla)
First Day of School
Let me tell you a story about me and my first love.
I was just 15 years old when I first met him. He was one of the new students in our school. One of the many new faces in the classroom. I was childish then and I was trying to compare who is the cutest among the three newcomers. They sat at the first row in the middle. As if trying to tell us that they’re the new smart kids in town! I just laugh scornfully to myself while I stared at them as they sat down. I was in third year. It was my first day back in school!
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(Source: weheartit.com)
Surfs up!
Played with modelling clay because I don’t know what else to do. This is probably the closest I could get when it comes to being productive. And am I in love? Well, more or less, I guess. Possibly because I’m watching the first ever American Drama I fell in love with. The OC.
(Source: jsevilla)
